A letter to Martha Grace || September 2016

My "not-so-little" girl,
I haven't written you a letter since June, I'm sorry. So much has happened since I last wrote that I don't know if I'll remember everything I want to say to you.

We've had a summer as a family; we've had family days out and we've had days at home just enjoying being together. We celebrated your third birthday with a party with our closest family and friends, we finally managed to get you out of nappies and now you're wearing big girl knickers all day long.

But the biggest event was your first day going to school in your uniform like your big brother and sister. I couldn't believe I was lucky enough to get to do all the things we did; taking you school shoes shopping and then taking you for your haircut. You only go to school three afternoon's a week, not once have you cried not wanting to go in - you run off with your little bag bouncing around on your back shouting "bye Mammi". You're just as excited to see me when I come to collect you a couple of hours later. You're quite disappointed that you're not allowed to bring your pictures home to show us like you used to as Ysgol Feithrin, that you have to keep them in your drawer - but it's all part of growing up baby girl and you'll get to show them to Mammi and Daddy soon.

Baby girl, we're still waiting for the date for your CT Scan/ next surgery/ pacemaker change. I know that I should be chasing the Hospital up and pushing for a date, but I'm too afraid to. I know it has to happen, I know you need it and I know that the sooner we get it over and done with the better for all of us (especially for you) because once you've had the Operation, we can focus on your recovery and getting life back to normal for everyone. But I'm quite enjoying life at the moment, I like our routine, I like being a Mammi to three children - I actually think I'm kind of good at it. I promise that if I haven't heard from GOSH by the end of September, then I will call them. The sooner it's all over - the sooner we can start getting ready for Christmas.

I'm so proud of you and the little girl that you have become; even if you have started to have some of the biggest tantrums we've ever seen - we wouldn't change you for all the world. You've been through so much and you have yet to endure so much more, but when I see you running off into school with the biggest smile on your face - I know we did the right thing by deciding to give you a chance at life. As long as our team are willing to operate to continue giving you the quality of life you deserve - we will continue to put our faith in them and hope that when we hand you over, you will be coming back.

I love you to the moon and back.

From Mammi xxx

Little Hearts Big Love

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