A letter to Martha Grace || January 2016

My Beautiful Martha Grace,
You've just enjoyed your 2nd Christmas at home, another milestone that at one time - we didn't dare dream that you'd ever reach.

Having a big sister who's only a little bit older than you has made you grow up a lot quicker. Isabella is 4 and this has been the first Christmas that she has been excited for. But you are only 2 years old and you were just as excited as your sister. Whenever someone asked you what was Santa bringing you, you'd reply "A Baby Annabelle"

You've loved watching Christmas films with us, especially loved watching the Gavin & Stacey Christmas Special, repeating a lot of the lines and shouting "Oh! Dave!" To be honest you've been doing a fair bit of shouting recently - you certainly like the sound of your own voice. You're really demanding, if you want something you have to have it right there and then - and if I tell you to wait (because Martha, I can't let you have your own way every single time) you start calling me a naughty girl and threaten to let Phoebe out of her cage or to get the hoover out! If we're telling you off for being naughty you'll say "But what did I do, Mammi?" when you know damn well what you did Madam!

We used to worry that we'd have trouble with Isabella being too rough with you, that she wouldn't understand that we have to be gentle when we're around you incase you get hurt; but you make it really difficult for us when you initiate a scrap with Isabella yourself. You're always trying to snatch the pram or handbag off her, and if she doesn't let it go then you'll slap her - we need to get you out of that habit because another child won't hesitate to slap you back.

The most amazing that's happened this month is that your wound has finally healed. Weeks and weeks of worry and taking you back and forth to see Dr Ben and to the out of hours surgery have been worth it. The final piece of your scab fell off on Christmas Eve Eve leaving behind a beautiful area of healed skin. We can finally bathe you properly. Thank you for being so brave through it all Baby Girl.

The next time I write to you we'd have been to London to see Dr Sullivan to make sure your little Heart is still ticking away as it should. I hope you'll behave as well as you did last time. I know that me and Daddy will be delighted with a "come back in three months" and I know I shouldn't have written that - but that's all I want...to be able to relax and enjoy "normal" life for another three months before we need to get your Pacemaker changed.

Our task for the rest of the month is to get you potty trained. You're starting Ysgol Feithrin in February which I know you are more than ready for (Mammi most certainly isn't, and I'm not sure about Daddy either...or any of your Grandparents!) 

I've made a wish, that if I'm starting 2016 with you - then I also get to finish 2016 with you. I'd sell my soul to the devil if I could just have that guarantee from God. I worry for you more than I worry about anyone else - I never want to pass on my fears to you, but I do hope one day you'll see how hard I pray for your health and how proud we are of you.

I love you so much Baby Girl.


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