A letter to Martha Grace || December 2015

My Darling Beautiful Girl,
You certainly know how to make your Mammi worry. It's been 8 weeks since you had your operation, when we got to bring you home 5 days later I never thought I'd still be worrying halfway through December.

You were half way through your second course of Flucloxacillin when me and Daddy noticed that there were two blisters protruding from your scar. Daddy took you to the out-of-hours GP and you came home on Penicillin to take alongside your Flucloxacillin and a dressing that we were to leave in place until Sunday evening as it was meant to draw out all the yuckiness from your wound. When we finally took it off there was so much gunk it looked like your wound had completely re-opened, but we got you cleaned up and saw that it thankfully - it wasn't.

Nainy took you to see Dr Ben on Monday morning while Mammi & Daddy were in Liverpool for their annual Christmas Shopping trip, turns out you have Granuloma. Dr Ben used Silver Nitrate to shrink down some of the excess flesh that had grown and asked to see you again on Wednesday. We went to see Dr Ben yesterday and he applied some more Silver Nitrate but said that it all looks so much better than how it looked on Monday and assured me that there was no infection present.

Martha I'm sorry that you are still suffering two months on. I'm sorry that every time we have to take a plaster off it hurts you, I'm sorry that you have to take yucky medicine - it breaks my heart that you don't even gag anymore because you're so used to the vile taste. If I could swap places with you I'd do it in a heartbeat. I'm sorry that I get sad sometimes but it's only because I'm scared for what the future holds, some days it's the immediate future that worries me the most...I'm trying to look forward to Christmas as a family but if I'm honest I'm not 100% convinced that we will all be home together when the big day rolls around.

I'm sorry that I feel like this when you have done so well to get through this operation, I'm sorry that I mope around when you've been so brave and bounced back to being your old naughty self and don't complain about anything.

I love you, your Daddy, Brother and Sister more than anything in the world. I'm going to think positive and I'm going to pray with all that I have that your scar will start getting better and that we are all together at home for Christmas.


Little Hearts Big Love

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