I should be fast asleep because we're off to London in the morning (we'll probably be on the train or even be at the Hospital by the time most people get to read this post), but I'd got Mark tickets to watch Liverpool play at Anfield tonight so he's only just got home and I decided to wait up for him.
Tomorrow we're going back to Great Ormond Street for the first time since Martha Grace was discharged back in October, 5 days after major open heart surgery.
As far as I can tell, Martha seems to have recovered well and was back to her normal self as soon as we got home. If you follow me on Instagram you would have seen the photo's of the shoes that she drew on with biro, she is 100% a naughty and cheeky two year old. But we thought she was doing really well back in March when it was suggested that she needed this 4th Open Heart Surgery - so I don't really trust my own instinct anymore.
I'd feel a little happier going tomorrow if the wound hadn't become infected again; as I was getting Martha dressed on Wednesday morning I noticed that a part of her scab from the bottom of the wound had gotten caught on her clothes and she'd been bleeding. I took her to see our GP on Wednesday afternoon, she agreed that it did look a bit weepy and prescribed a 10 day course of Flucloxacillin. I'm terrified that they'll keep Martha in tomorrow saying that she needs a 5 day course of IV Antibiotics to blast the infection.
But, I try to reason with myself that both times that we've suspected an infection we've had Martha seen to almost straight away - no one has ever left anything to chance and she's been started on antibiotics straight away. She's not become ill from the infection...when I checked on her earlier tonight the rest of the site looks clean and dry and the redness is localised rather than spreading away from the site. However - I always prefer to prepare for the worst so that I am not disappointed.
I guess my problem is that it all still feels too good to be true; being able to bring her home 5 days post-op, hell...being able to bring her home at all after her 4th Open Heart Surgery in 2 years. I think I'm still waiting for something to go wrong, which I know is totally unfair to Martha when she's doing so well otherwise.
I just hope that we come away today with positive news so we can look forward to Christmas at home as a family once again.
Your prayers and well wishes would be gratefully received today.
ps. Isn't her new hat cute? We got it from Debenhams on Wednesday and so far she's keeping it on. They came with matching gloves but I'm betting that we will lose one (if not both) glove in London.