Thursday, 5 November 2015

A letter to Martha Grace || November 2015


To my Beautifully and Brave Baby Girl,
Thank you, from the bottom of my Heart for being so strong. I thought we'd still be in London when I wrote your November letter but I was wrong. What came over you? Where did that strength...that fight come from? How did you do it in such a short space of time? You have no idea what you've been through have you?

We obviously chose the right name for you Baby Girl, so many nurses would call in to your bed space saying "I heard she was back, I've come to see how big she's gotten" or "I saw her name and I knew it had to be
her". That's how naughty you were last night, that's how long we were there for - Nurses remember you!

The hardest part of it all was when you woke up after coming out of theatre; you were still on the ventilator and would panic and cry - but no sound would come out. That was heartbreaking and I'm so sorry you had to go through that baby girl. For a couple of weeks after coming home you would wake up in the middle of the night sobbing for me and your Dad, I know it's scary for you...I know that all you remember is falling asleep in your Daddy's arms and then waking up surrounded by machines with all kinds of wires coming out of you and I'm sorry. When you're older you will understand where you are and you'll also understand why you're there.

You were such a polite little girl; when the nurses would give you medicines or take your bloods, or even when they changed your bedding - you'd say "Thank you" in your sweet little voice, they'd all swoon over you.

When we were in Flamingo ward for your last operations, we'd see other children arrive in Intensive Care and a couple of days later they'd have been moved up to Bear Ward - before the end of the week me and your Nainy would see you walking out with their suitcases and we'd ask ourselves why can't we be that family? This time - it was our turn, we were that family! We only have you to thank for that.

We wouldn't have brought you in to this world if we thought you wouldn't enjoy any quality of life; watching you snuggle up in your brand new bed, singing and dancing to the Spice Girls movie, showing off your new shoes - I am 100% sure that you do. Rest assured we only accept these operations because we want to give you the best chance in life, not everyone is as lucky as you Martha Grace - please remember that.

Now if we can just kick this infection's a** and get your wound to heal up properly, I think we can look forward to a very happy Christmas at home again this year. We are going back to Hospital at the end of the month and you'll have jelly on your belly again, hopefully they'll tell us that everything is looking good in there.

Thank you for being so amazingly brave, we Love you to the more than you'll ever know.

xxx