It's December. The advent calendar's have been opened, the Christmas tree is up. Me and Martha go to get Osh and Isabella from school and bring them home. I give Isabella and Osh a snack, I feed Martha Grace, I make a start on dinner and before I know it Mark arrives home from work. We eat dinner together and then Mark does the dishes. We get the kids to bed and either we watch something on TV together or I watch something on my Tablet and Mark is on the playstation.
The crucial part in all of this is that we are at home. We are together.
I would have traded my soul with the devil to have this life back in December 2013.
I remember as we walked between the accommodation and the hospital, or when we went to a Cafe Nero on Southampton Row - I'd watch people go about their days. I'd imagine they were going home and we're going to have a cozy night watching a Christmassy DVD, that they'd spend their evening wrapping Christmas presents - that they would be in their own home.
I was so jealous. I so desperately wanted to be home with my babies - not hundreds of miles away, not with one baby seriously ill in hospital.
So this year our tree was up before 1st December. This year Mammi and Daddy have booked a Hotel in Liverpool for the night so we can properly take our time doing the Christmas Shopping. This year I've already bought some treats to enjoy as we watch our films and as we wrap our Christmas Presents. This year - Christmas will happen on the 25th December and not on the 1st February 2015. This year we will all be together on Christmas Day. We will do it right and we will savour every minute.
This year Christmas won't be about the presents - Christmas will be about simply being together.
I remember writing this post, it was the first time the kids had been to visit Martha since the operation - the first time I'd seen them for nearly 3 weeks. We took Osh and Isabella to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park; it would have been magical if one of us wasn't missing so the whole afternoon was bittersweet. But a couple of hours before the kids were due to leave the family next to us on the ward were told they had ran out of options for their Baby and advised to withdraw support. The sound of their uncontrollable sobs will haunt me forever.
The purpose of our blog is to raise awareness for Congenital Heart Defects and offer hope to families who are about to begin their journey. If it can happen to us then it can happen to anyone. Please consider sharing this post using one (or more) of the social media icons at the bottom of this post - it might reach someone very much in need. Thank you xx