I should imagine that some people are wondering why we're putting Martha through yet another operation. I will be completely honest - I've been thinking that myself.
Every time we've signed a consent form I am consumed by self loathing. I feel like such an awful mother for giving someone permission to do what they do in Theatre.
But I spent Sunday and Monday with a couple who had no choice but to withdraw support from their 16 day old son. His lungs had so many blood clots that his little heart was being crushed. Any attempt at surgery would lead to him bleeding to death on the operating table.
I spent Tuesday crying with a Grandmother whose 2 year old Grandson was being operated on in his cubicleon the ward because he was far too sick to even make the journey down one floor in a lift to get to theatre. The procedure was a success. However, Sebastian sadly passed away yesterday morning.
Then it dawned on me...while something can be done - then we have to let it get done.
Any kind of surgery carries risks. Cardiothoracics is even riskier. Especially as in Martha's case they go on the bypass machine.
But surgeons will not operate unless the benefits outweigh the risks.
And if the benefits outweigh the risks surely it's a risk worth taking.
No one wants to put their child through surgery. But no one wants to spend the rest of their lives wondering what the outcome might have been if they'd only given their child that chance.