Mark asked me while we we're eating breakfast at Great Ormond Street,
"How do you love a new Child?? Do you split the love for the first child in two - or is there just more love??"
I was surprised he'd been thinking/ feeling that way but I completely understood what he meant.
For us Mammi's; we've carried the Babies for 9 months; felt every kick and movement they made and endured contractions, stitches and everything for them - that binds us to our Children. But it's always confused me how Fathers can instantly love their children!?
I look back through photo's of Mark not long after Isabella was born and even though he hadn't slept the night before she was born, he looks happy rather than tired.
I think back to the morning of Martha's operation and how Mark cried his heart out for his baby girl.
Even looking at him with them both on a day to day basis. The smile on his face when Isabella calls "Daddy" at him (and how upset he gets when she dares call him "Mark") and seeing how amazed he is with her when she learns something new. How determined he was to be NG tube trained so we could bring Martha home and not to our local hospital. How proud he seems of Martha when she finishes a bottle all by herself. I get a lump at the back of my throat thinking "how amazing is it that he loves the children we created together".
We've noticed that the past few of weeks Isabella been more forthcoming with her cuddles, and will actually want to sit on the sofa snuggled in to us and won't wrestle to get away after a few seconds, she will also offer us her forehead to give her a kiss. I watch him try to get a smile out of Martha while she has a kick about on her mat. I'm still baffled - I've even asked him how/ why does he love them and he can't tell me. He says he just does - and you know what...I believe it too :-)
Mark with Isabella
Mark with Martha