Going home...alone

I must be the worst Mother in the world. I don't think it would have made a difference what I'd decided to do tonight I think I'd still feel rotten.

Tomorrow is Tuesday 3rd September, the start of a new school year. My gorgeous boy starts Junior department at his school. I want to be there. I want to be the one to wake him up, give him breakfast and get him washed & dressed ready for his first day. I want to be the one to take him to school. I should be the one to take him to school.

So as I write this post I am sat on the Train crossing the border in to North Wales. I will take my gorgeous boy to school tomorrow. He deserves to have his Mammi with him for such an important day. I feel
absolutely rubbish because in order to do that I've had to leave Martha Grace with her Daddy & Nain in Great Ormond Street.

Why isn't life straight forward??

She's been so well behaved again today, luckily, or I wouldn't have felt happy making this trip home. She is doing so well in fact that they moved her to a single cubicle this morning.

I'd feel guilty if I decided to stay in London as I wouldn't be there for Osh. But Martha won't remember that there was 36hrs that I left her for. Osh might remember I wasn't there tomorrow.

Things you do for your kids.


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