Monday, 19 August 2013

The dreaded day has arrived

This week begins and I am a pregnant Mammi to two children...I can't even begin to contemplate how this week might end on Sunday...

I'm more nervous for today than actually giving birth - Waiting for UCLH to call to let us know they've got a cot and bed for us. I have no idea what time they are likely to call, first thing this morning or last thing tonight. I don't know if it's a "no news is good news" kind of situation.

Kind of tempted to sit there watching the phone all day, but I know it's going to drive me demented if it doesn't ring. So I have a list of chores to keep me going. Menial tasks like; cleaning the bathroom, dusting, hooverig, changing the beds...things I can do without actually concentrating much on.

Anything to distract myself from the fact that today may me my last day with the kids for some time.
Next time we're all together, they will either have a little sister - or they would have lost a little sister.
We will either be deleriously happy - or grieving our loss.

I wanted to post a "happy" account of our weekend this morning - but it's far too hard reliving all our nice normal memories knowing they will be the only ones we'll make for a while now.

I just want to get this over with...I.don't want to live in Limbo anymore.


GM
x