My brave boy

Well it went better than I thought it would. I feel awful. I feel like the worst Mammi in the world. Leaving two children at home. Palming them off on anyone who will take care of them and focusing all my energy on another child.

I feel guilty.

In order to give one child the best chance in life - I have to neglect the other two.

I tried to skim over the fact that we we're going to London and not make a big deal out of it. But he asked why she isn't being born in the local hospital.

My reply was that they weren't clever enough to look after Martha.

He asked why not, if it was good enough for him and Isabella to be born there - why weren't they clever enough to take care of Martha.

I replied as honestly as I could - that Martha isn't well and needs extra special care. But that she is going to the same hospital he had jelly on his chest a couple of years ago, and that as soon as Martha is well enough - his Auntie and Great Nain will bring him and Isabella down to visit us on the train.

It seems what's upset him the most is that we're going away from home.

This is what I wanted, I don't want him to worry about Martha.

I've asked him to promise to be a good boy and to love and look after Isabella - that's his job, a very VERY important one.

I wish I could split myself in two.




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