There hasn't been much I've sought comfort from these past few weeks...but here is one pearl of wisdom someone offered that I've clung on to, mainly because I desperately want it to be true:-
A friend of mine who is a devout Catholic called in for a coffee a few weeks ago. After being updated on the various appointments, she took my hands and looked me in the eye and told me...
"This isn't a punishment, God doesn't want to punish you - you've never hurt anyone or done anything wrong for Him to do that. He is simply saying 'Gemma, I need to train my Dr's - you've got an excellent family who have experience of dealing with heart conditions. You're the best Woman for the job so I'm sending you the challenge' he isn't sending you anything you can't deal with".
I wish I had a strong religion of my own so that I could think like this for myself. But for now I will cling on to this.